Portsmouth - it's a mini Adventure!

Made it to Portsmouth with plenty of time to spare... but I wasn't allowing for a 30 minute stop in the security search shed!

 

First impressions were quite promising - friendly chap asked to take a look in the boot, I opened up the back, he had a rootle around and asked me if I was really going to Timbuktu.  Yes, I said, I was.

 

He x-rayed my (uninteresting) kitbag and I thought he was going to let me go, but then he started with the questions.  "Have you got any firearms?"  "Nope."  "Got any knives?"  "Yes, a few."  "Few?"  "Yes, three plus a machete."  That was enough to get him on the phone to his supervisor... who turned up and then called HIS supervisor...

 

I spent a few minutes rummaging around to find said knives, which they placed on a table first in order of increasing length, and then amusingly re-sorted them into what I assumed to be an order of increasing naughtiness (small knives at one end, machete in the middle, big scary survival knife at the other end).  There was a bit of sucking-through-teeth and looking me up and down.  I gave them my best public-school smile. and then got told off for sitting down on the big polycarbonate box of "knives we've taken off people, Sonny..."

 

Supervisor "Dave" turned up and carried on with the questions.  "Are you a Serviceman?"  "Are you an Ex-serviceman?"  (must be the haircut)  "Are you really going to Timbuktu?" 

I explained that I thought it was legal to transport knives if they were inaccessible and required for a specific, legitimite purpose - like travelling to Timbuktu.  "You mean like 'Tools of the Trade'?" they asked.  Yes, I said, pretty much. 

 

After a bit more humming and haaing, and sucking through teeth, they decided that there wasn't anything to get excited about after all, and half of the hangers-on sloped off into the rain.  "We'll have to tell P&O" said Dave.  "In case they're not happy carrying them on the boat."  We then had another few minutes to smile at each other while Mr P&O was called up.  I got bored of the smiling and went to sit back in the car.

 

While we were waiting, Dave's minion wandered over for a chat.  The opening gambit ("Are you really going to Timbuktu?") was quite predictable, but then he started talking shop.  "We get a fair few people going to Africa through here... not many of them have knives with 'em.  Some've got guns but then they've got a license, so that's much less of a bother."  Nice to know that it'd have been easier to get on board with a gun! 

 

Mr P&O turned up two minutes later and was much more relaxed about the whole thing.  "So long as they stay in the car... I'd take a knife or two with me if I was going to Africa myself... are you really going to Timbuktu?"

 

I'm on the boat now.  If I hear Frosty the flipping Snowman one more time, I may regret leaving the knives on Car Deck 3.